Neurodivergent at Work
Dear Mercedes,
I’m neurodivergent and that means that I have needs that might fall outside of the average worker’s. For instance, I can’t do morning meetings because the shock of seeing and talking to people early in the day is very anxiety producing. I tell my teams that the earliest I can reliably meet is 11am and the latest is 4. It’s not that I’m not focusing on work priorities or delivering value. It’s just that I concentrate and process information and stimulus differently, so if I go beyond this level of interaction, it’s basically guaranteed that I will burnout.
Some teams (especially in tech) use a ritual called the daily stand up. This is the worst possible thing I could participate in due to my sensitivities. It lowers my productivity immensely. But I don’t want to be out of touch and people often out-number me and say we can’t make a change just for you. The problem is, every situation that I am in my needs are the outlier, so their inflexibility means that I get excluded over and over again.
How can I impress upon teams that it is worth making adjustments just for one person, and that’s what inclusivity is all about without sounding judgmental and getting excluded (anyway) but this time with prejudice that I’m electively hard to deal with.
Also, how can I avoid this situation and the anger and frustration that it causes me personally?
J
Dear J,
First, some recognition for naming your needs and situation so well. Unfortunately, mental health support is not necessarily a priority for all employers, even as COVID-19 has shown us it’s critical. Good news/bad news: you are not alone, so seeking support with those you trust - a support group, therapy, job coach, friend, colleagues - can help soothe some of that anger and frustration. Do what you can, and be careful with taking on a whole workplace culture that needs progression. Consider incorporating evaluation of HR practices and employee wellness when sussing out future positions. For this situation, if they continue to ignore your needs you may need to go the legal route - work with HR and find out what they need for employee accommodations, like a doctor's note.
All of this is work, so make sure to ask for help from trusted sources. Be extra sweet to yourself right now.
Always,
Mercedes
